Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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