this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So much Jack, so little girl.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
