the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Enjoy the penises
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
