It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
