The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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