you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
