That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You peed on a flamingo?!?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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