oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
