she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
