Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
