I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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