Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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