I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
