return my video game
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
