do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
