five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
