I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
vagina is talking i cant
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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