My brain says no but my pants say off.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
