Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
