I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The Olympian is in my bed
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
