i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
