I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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