I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
