Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
