I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
