Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
