I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
