I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The ass gains better be worth it
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
