right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
