he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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