How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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