I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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