I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
