he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We have started to decorate penises.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
