i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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