Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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