Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize