SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
