"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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