i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
