She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
