i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have fence marks all over my body
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
