I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
