guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
