I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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