one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize