she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
