dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Two words: blizzard sex
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
