You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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