I think im going to throw up on grandma
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You brought string cheese to the strip club
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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