dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Randomize
