what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he thought i was a dude.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
