Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
