Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
