Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
