Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize