just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
