I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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