I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
